Reconnecting With Friends Over the Holidays
Christmas is a time to relax and reconnect with loved ones. It might be a while since you’ve seen each other and it’s normal to be anxious about this. If you’re feeling nervous about reuniting, here are some helpful tips to ease your nerves and make the most of your time together.
Avoid comparing yourself
It’s likely that you will all be on different education or career paths, and have other relationships and living situations. You might feel like your friends have all moved on or settled down, and fear being judged for your current life circumstances. Don’t measure happiness or success by the jobs people have or what they’re studying. It’s okay to be in a different place from your friends, focus on your own goals and achievements and avoid comparing yourself to other people.
Will we have anything in common anymore?
Some friends within the group might have grown closer or drifted apart. It’s normal for this to happen, especially if some people see each other more often. You might have stayed in touch over the phone, but it’s been a while since you’ve seen each other in person. It’s ok to feel a bit anxious about this. It’s hard to maintain a connection over the phone, and everyone can get caught up in their own lives.
Your interests might have changed, and you may not enjoy the same things anymore. This is normal and a part of growing up. Communicate with your friends and let them know about any changes in your life. If you’ve started a new chapter it’s easy to be excited and want to share every detail with your friends. However, do your best to listen and ask them questions too. By showing interest in each others lives, you can reconnect and catch up.
Offer to plan some activities
Christmas time is busy for everyone so try to reach out and choose a date and time that works for everyone and plan an activity to do locally. You can do something you used to do together or try something new. You could share a new game you’ve learned to play or go to watch a band your friend discovered recently. By sharing interests you create new bonds and enjoy different experiences together.
Navigating reunions
Here are some tips to help you make the most of your time together:
- Ease into it: Try catching up with a couple of friends individually first before meeting as a group.
- Check-in: Message your friends to let them know when you’ll be home and that you’re looking forward to seeing them.
- Communicate: Be open and honest. Old friends know you well and can offer great advice.
- Manage your expectations: Go in with an open mind and be ready to accept that your relationship might have changed.
- Christmas isn’t a happy time for everyone: Remember that your friends might have their worries about this time of year. Check-in with them and offer support if they need it.
If things don’t feel like they used to
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to make everything perfect. These meetups don’t have to be a big deal. Sometimes you’ll click right away, and sometimes it’ll feel a bit awkward, and that’s completely normal. People change and friendships naturally evolve and remember, it’s okay if things don’t feel like they used to.
If there’s something on your mind you can talk to a Meic adviser for free, confidential support from 8am to midnight every day. Chat with us by phone, WhatsApp message, text, or online chat.
