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Grab the Meic: I Think I’m Non-Binary

A young person contacted Meic as they had nobody to talk to about being non-binary. Meic is always here to talk by call, text, online chat or here in Grab the Meic. Here’s the advice we had to share. 

Grab the Meic is your opportunity to ask us about anything that’s worrying you. We’re here to listen and give advice. If you want to #grabthemeic then check out this page, but remember this advice is not instant. If you need advice quickly then please contact the helpline.

This article is also available in Welsh – I ddarllen y cynnwys yma yn Gymraeg – clicia yma

Hi Meic, 

I think I might be non-binary, but I talked to my mum about gender issues and she said she doesn’t see the point -help 😔 

Cadi (*name changed to protect their identity

Meic’s Advice 

Hi Cadi, 

Thanks for contacting Meic about the problem you’ve experienced in trying to talk to your mum about gender identity issues.  

You said that you feel like you might be non-binary, and that when you had spoken to your mum about it, she had said there was no point. It sounds like you feel that your mum didn’t take the conversation seriously enough? Or that she dismissed your concerns or observations? It may not have been her intention to make you feel like this, but it is natural if you feel hurt.  

Non-binary gender symbol

Re-opening the conversation 

What do you think about finding a quiet time to start this conversation again? You could let her know that there is something on your mind and that you would value her support.  

Healthline’s blog How Do You Know If You’re Nonbinary? looks at definitions of non-binary, gender roles, pronouns and how to know if you’re non-binary. It might help you explain where you feel you ‘fit’. There isn’t a right or wrong answer as to how you identify – it’s personal to you. You might feel like you’re on a spectrum, that it’s fluid and it can change over time. Don’t feel pressure to change or follow a path that doesn’t feel right to you. Take your time to really get to know yourself and feel pride in who you are! There are lots of additional resources at the bottom of the Healthline page that you can browse through. 

Non-binary yellow, white, purple and black striped flag

Talk to someone else 

If your mum isn’t ready to discuss this with you, think about who else you could talk to. A friend? A family member? Someone at school? A helpline? A safe chat room or forum?  

A lot of young people find The Mix discussion boards a great source of support from other young people who relate. Check out some of the previous discussions around gender and sexuality. 

Check out this article discussing ‘coming out’ from the perspective of someone who identifies as genderqueer and pansexual. This shows you that you are not alone in questioning your gender identity and makes some good suggestions about where you might find the support you need.  

For some people, giving their feelings a label is helpful but if you don’t feel like you need one, that is ok too. Just try to be kind, patient and true to yourself ❤ 

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Chat to Meic 

You’re welcome to have a chat with an adviser at Meic about what might work for you in this situation. It can be challenging talking about important and emotive things with people we love and sometimes things don’t go quite as we had hoped. Meic is on your side, ready to listen and support you with information and advice to help you identify solutions to your problems. You can call, text or chat to us online between 8am and midnight every day.